


Evening Stars

by kayethespade



Series: Veronica Shepard [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Gratuitous Smut, Past Sexual Abuse, Praise Kink, Voice Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 14:41:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10118603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayethespade/pseuds/kayethespade
Summary: It's the night before Ilos, but Veronica Shepard has some reservations about happy fun times.





	

"Commander."

Shepard hardly looked over her shoulder, but once she'd verified who it was, she swivelled around in her chair.

"You probably shouldn't call me that. I probably shouldn't even be wearing this uniform," Shepard grumbled. Kaidan walked over to sit on her bed.

"Yeah, hell of a thing. We broke out oath to defend the Alliance so we can keep it. What happens if this doesn't work out, Shepard? We mutineed, stole a prototype warship. They wanted to get technical, they could throw in kidnapping. We're a hell of an example of humanity's best and brightest." Always the worrier.

"I keep reminding myself that we're doing the right thing. I don't believe me yet, but we'll get there," she sighed. She laughed bitterly at herself.

"Well, if I didn't think you were doing the right thing, I wouldn't be here," Kaidan teased. Shepard looked up at him with a wry smile. "It'll really hit the fan when we get to Ilos. If things don't go well, I want you to know: I've enjoyed serving under you," he said. Shepard lips formed into what could only be qualified as a shit-eating grin.

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure of you serving under me, Kaidan," she teased.

"I walked myself into that one," he laughed. "I get the feeling breach of protocol will be pretty far down our list of charges. You know what? You're right, about everything. I think about losing you, and I can't stand it. And the galaxy will just keep going. Everything! Even the Reapers will come around again, but you and I...We, are important right now. This is what will never happen again, us! Shepard, you make me feel...human."

"I'm at least moderately certain I can make you feel a lot more than that. Bunk here tonight, Kaidan. Please?" she said.

"Is that an order, ma'am?"

"No. You can take it or leave it. I won't keep you here," Shepard answered. Her voice was tight, as if constrained. Her eyes were locked on her hands. It was the most reserved Kaidan had ever seen her.

"This can't change anything, Shepard. We have a good crew, the best I've ever served with. I don't want to mess that up," he replied.

"Then forgive me if I enjoy this and get a little more comfortable," Shepard said. She pulled off her boots and her shirt. She stood up to take off her pants and turned away from him to take off her bra. When she turned around again, Kaidan was in a similar state of undress. She headed over to him, but instead of just tackling him over like he'd expected, she took a seat on the bed next to him.

"Okay, Kaidan. If we're going to do this, I need to let you know about a thing that happened when I was younger," Shepard began. She did this with all of her prospective partners. It was just common courtesy in case the fires of desire decided not make an appearance.

Kaidan gestured for her to continue. He looked so awkward, sitting there on the edge of her bed in his underwear. He was nervous. How cute. With that v-line leading down to his-okay! Focus, Shepard.

"I was sexually abused during the tenure of my first military assignment, and so I have a lot of trouble getting all excited. It's nothing on you, I just-" Kaidan stopped her with a gentle hand on hers. His thumb rubbed over her knuckles. "I'm sorry."

"Shepard...Veronica. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry you had to go through that. As for the sex, if it happens, it happens. We can congratulate ourselves. If it doesn't, I think I can make a mad dash for the kitchen and grab some hot cocoa. Or alcohol. Or both. Whatever you need," he said.

"No alcohol right before a mission, but thank you for understanding, Kaidan. Now get over here. I need one last ride before we go possibly die," Shepard joked.

"Was that a pun?" Kaidan asked. He could hardly believe he'd broken through a little of Veronica's shell. Shepard laid back as Kaidan moved up onto her. Never overbearing. Just enough to feel close and safe.

"I mean, under normal circumstances, I'd ride. But usually the first time with somebody, I opt for letting them explore, push some buttons, all that fun stuff," she explained. He laughed a little. "What." There was that hard look in her eyes again.

"You're so much more casual than usual," Kaidan began. He held her hands in his and kissed languidly at her jawline. She tilted her head back to let him move in closer. "I think I enjoy you like this. You smile more. You laugh more. It's nice to hear." He trailed off as his kisses made his way down her abdomen.

Kaidan had expected her to be a bit more sensitive there, but she didn't seem to quiver under his words and his lips. Then again, was any of this normal?

"Continue," she muttered. Shepard seemed tense.

"I get the feeling you aren't praised often. A shame given how hard you work. You don't take breaks. You get the job done, but you never relax," he continued, resting on her stomach. She rolled her eyes playfully and pulled him back up to her. Their lips met. Shepard placed her arms over his shoudlers, but it didn't feel confining or desperate. Slow, steady kisses that felt like they were melting into each other.

"You're beautiful. And capable. And incredibly bright. And you don't get nearly enough credit," Kaidan muttered against her lips.

"Okay, I think I have a praise kink. Because what in the hell," she wheezed. The two looked down at her underwear, which was in some state between slightly wet and drenched. "Wow that's a little weird, but okay. Are you good to go with this?"

"Huh. I didn't take you for someone who gets undone by a few words," Kaidan teased.

"You haven't taken me at all," she deadpanned before laughing. "And don't worry, I'm still nervous as hell, but your voice is powerful and I really think it's sexy. Apparently."

"I care about you, Veronica. I want you to relax and be comfortable," he said.

"You and every other person I've ever tried to be with. Seriously, you're doing pretty well so far. You don't even want to know about some of the other...encounters I've had," Shepard encouraged.

"Enlighten me."

"Let's just say one guy took it a little too personally that I wasn't making the stupid porn noises. Ahh! It's so good!" she demonstrated. Kaidan leaned his head onto her shoulder until he stopped laughing. Shepard noticed a shadow dart from the edge of the closed door. "I think we had an audience."

"Had," Kaidan sighed. "And yeah, that sounds pretty bad. One guy wanted me to spank him. That was pretty uncomfortable."

"God, you're too soft for that shit. Also, you're bi too?" Shepard asked.

"...I guess I am."

"Cool. This is...really nice. But do you think you can get back to sucking on my neck? That was great," she requested.

"No problem, Veronica," he answered. Kaidan turned his head a little and gave a few small kisses before biting softly. Her shoulders released their tension, almost at will. A rosy pink showed here and there along her neck and collarbone, but nothing that wouldn't be gone by the time they got to Ilos.

Kaidan laid her down on the bed again, cupping one of her hips and one of her breasts, kneading on the latter. She carefully tugged at the hand on her breast. Shepard patted the hand as if to say she appreciated the thought, but no. He decided to hold that hand instead, fingers interlocked.

His other hand left her hip to pull her underwear down to her knees. She managed to slip it the rest of the way off. He paused for a moment and folded the clothes, setting them on the floor by one corner of the bed.

"That a Canadian thing?" Shepard asked.

"It's a common courtesy thing, Veronica," he sighed.

"So...a Kaidanadian thing, then," she joked.

"You're insufferable," Kaidan chuckled. Shepard helped him get his underwear off as well, but glanced away when she saw his dick. Her shoulders tensed. "You don't have to do anything if you don't want to. Not now. Not ever."

"Just...adjusting. This shit comes up every time. It just keeps coming back, and I can't stop it. So we wait," Shepard said.

Kaidan leaned down to whisper in her ear. Shepard felt him rubbing against her inner thigh and willed herself not to flinch. "If it means waiting with you naked and wet and not quite desperate, I'll be happy to."

"Oh Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary," she said to herself, a shuddery breath flowing past her lips.

"Didn't know you were religious. Though I think the words you're looking for are Kaidan Alenko," he continued. He brought his hand up between her legs, intentional and slowly allowing one finger to enter.

"You're enjoying this," Shepard muttered.

"If by this you mean seeing my proud commander shaking under me, then yes. You're a sight to see," Kaidan said. He let another finger go in as she relaxed by degrees. Then, carefully and slow-going, a third.

"Please get it in me at your convenience," she pleaded.

"Very unbecoming to beg, Shepard," he mumbled against her neck.

"Too fucking bad. I need you right now," Shepard said, a little louder. Kaidan carefully slid halfway in, enough to penetrate but not enough for her to feel uncomfortable. She took a deep breath. "Okay. That feels weird, but okay."

"Need me to stop?" he asked.

"Just pause it. It's been a long while," she replied.

"Well, I can't say I'm disappointed, V," Kaidan said. She grinned up at him. She stretched her shoulders and back to get more comfortable.

"Slowly, please."

Kaidan nodded and moved his hips towards her, letting her adjust. She hands clung to his shoulders and squeezed. A guttural noise came from deep in her throat.

"Well fuck," she muttered.

"What is it?" Kaidan asked, concerned.

"This feels better than I remember. I guess that's a good sign," Shepard joked.

"Want me to move?"

"Oh hell yes. Please," she said.

"First time I've ever heard you use that word," he teased, starting out painfully slow. After a few seconds, she glared up at him. She thought that might make him go faster. It didn't.

"Fuck it," Shepard muttered.

She flipped them over so that she was on top. Kaidan blinked for a few moments before realizing that she'd started riding him. Hard. She was leaned back with her hands on his knees to keep her steady. Her head was tilted back somewhat for balance and somewhat for appearance and somewhat for the feeling coursing through her.

Kaidan couldn't help but watch and feel in awe that she was so powerful. He felt biotic energy prickling in the friction between their skin, and he decided to put it to good use. Kaidan placed his hands on her hips to help her along a little bit. It felt like a circuit of warm, euphoric static. Shepard groaned at the flood of sensation, and she brought one hand forwards to get herself off. Kaidan felt like he was going to burst into flames as Shepard tightened around him. She kept riding him, leaning forwards with her elbows on his chest. He kissed her hard, moaning into her mouth as he came.

She smiled against his lips, not wanting it to end. But soon enough, Shepard fell from her high and returned to Earth, still laying on his chest in that warm, sticky afterglow. She began to bring herself up, but Kaidan held her to him. Leaving that bed meant getting dressed. And getting dressed meant Ilos, fighting, and...a possibility neither of them wanted to think about. He wanted to stay there with her, the woman he loved, for just one moment longer. Shepard kissed his cheek, a few tears coming to her eyes as she realized that she could never have this kind of bliss ever again. Kaidan put his hand on her cheek, wiping away her tears with his thumb.

"Bridge to Commander Shepard. We're five minutes out from the Mu Relay," Joker said over the comm.

"You're a sweetheart, Kaidan," Shepard muttered. She pulled herself closer to him by his shoulder and kissed his cheek before rolling off the bed and onto her feet. She grabbed her clothes and got dress by the corner of the bed. Just the basic stuff. She suited up into her armor soon after.

"Joker's waiting for you on the bridge," he said, looking down at his hands. "I swear if anything happens to you...take care, Shepard."

"Be ready on the CIC. Double time, LT. Now that's an order," she laughed, equipping her ammo belt.

"How do you get ready that fast?" Kaidan asked as he got redressed as quickly as he could.

"Lots of practice?" Shepard sighed.

"I don't mind, Shepard. Not when..."

She paused for a moment and held his hand. "We'll make it through this. Now suit up before I change my mind, you absolute pain in the ass."

"Aye aye, ma'am," Kaidan answered.

"And tell Garrus to be ready as well."

"I'll let him know," he sighed. She clapped him on the shoulder and opened the door to her cabin.

They walked together for a few paces before Kaidan split off to his locker and Shepard carried on to the bridge.


End file.
